Do you give yourself any time to listen to your own thoughts? Are you so busy with everyone in your family, so busy doing good things, that it is foreign to you to hear one of your own thoughts creep through? This goes along with my thoughts on learning how to "Just Be". It is one of the many reasons I love to escape, as I did for 2 days last weekend, to Mt. Pleasant. The distractions of home, family, house, bills, church, friends, school, work, community -- though good -- are less and so it affords me the moments to let my brain and heart just wander and be themselves. What is most important to me? What dreams and goals do I have? What blessings are mine? It is calming and peaceful. My mind can naturally sort itself, organize itself. I think it is important to find ways for our minds and hearts to bloom. I use distraction as a way to keep myself from things that are disturbing, sad, anxiety ridden. Not always appropriate, but it can be effective. On the other end of the spectrum, I like it when I can be somewhere where I can explore my feelings....the spirit can whisper about the truly meaningful, valuable, and worthwhile things in life....

Shoes

I love shoes, I have figured out a few things concerning the aquisition of shoes. First of all, when it is not fun to clothes shop due to my body size, I can always turn to shopping for shoes. People will still say, "I love your shoes" even when the rest of you is forgettable. I have learned another thing about shoes in my old age. Cheap shoes don't help your feet at all. I have fallen victim to cute, cheap shoes over and over, only to have discomfort and pain. I truly believe one needs to wear decent, supportive shoes to avoid foot problems. Even COSTLY foot problems. I now promise myself that I will wear supportive shoes 95% of the time, 5% of the time reserved for cute shoes.

Light....

Reflections of light: Light has a huge impact on me. I prefer to leave windows unobstructed by blinds, curtains, etc. I would leave every window uncovered all the time, day and night. I do have to close some with blinds from time to time...... I do not understand when people leave their windows closed up all the time. I see houses that are always closed up. I would feel depressed and claustrophobic. When the weather is like it has been the last few days, grey and dismal, I feel more depressed. I tend to turn on as many lights as possible. I love having flourescent lighting, especially when working on a project. Unfortunately most don't agree with my love of flourescent, so I just have it in one room. Most houses could use more windows! Can there ever be too many? There are many references about light in the scriptures. I believe in the literal power of light and the opposite power of darkness. I believe that when you surround yourself in light, any kind of light, you drive out the darkness. If you tend to leave your windows closed and covered, I challenge you to open them all up and invite the light in!

Leave Me Alone...

I have been in kind of a slump the last couple of days. Could be the grey weather that permeates our days lately. Could be that, well, it's that time. In any case, if I could I would go away by myself and travel to some tropical location, eat delicious food, read, go on lovely walks along a beach.....ahhhhh.....

You would think that after about 38 years of "that time" I would have it figured out. You would think I would immediately know what is causing the problem. I am getting a little quicker at figuring it out, but usually still go through a couple of days of feeling horrid, icky, wicked, depressed, and weird....and wondering why. When I was a teen I just thought I was possessed or something. No amount of praying, reading scriptures, or faith would help me feel better. I thought I must be so bad that I was a lost cause. This was before we ever heard of the term PMS. After I had been married a year or so I started to hear of this condition. What a relief! I wasn't crazy after all! If only I had known that years earlier. Since then, I realized that what I really need to do is just be away from all human beings for about 2 days mid month and then again 2 days before day 1. Like that has ever happened. I think the beach scenario would be best for everyone involved.

About the time I do have it figured out, I am sure I will be in menopause and will have a whole new set of hormones (or lack of) to figure out.